trying to cheer up a friend like


(via nashaification)


if u smell good, we cool

(via stripper-kisses)


i apparently go to bird school which is for birds


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via queer-faerie)

I have the biggest crush on this high schooler I’ve only met twice. 

1. i never crush

2. i especially never crush on people my own age

3. of course he has a gf…..

Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to. - (via linunea)

(Source: escapedgoat, via desthegrand)